Parents need to prepare for the holiday season so that their children with autism or Asperger’s syndrome can cope. Long trips by car or plane can be especially difficult for a child with autism. But with some planning and by following these simple tips, travel can be fun and rewarding. Prepare your child for the changes that will take place during a holiday when your child’s routing and schedule will be in flux. By following this advice, your holidays can go smoothly and be fun for the whole family, especially for your child with autism. A child with autism needs routine. They like to do the same things every day and do them the same way. A child with autism feels comfortable and safe if they can predict what will happen and if they know what to expect. Many parents of children with autism learn the hard way that last minute surprises or changes in schedule can cause their child to have a meltdown. It is very important as the holidays are approaching to revisit these basic needs of your loved ones on the autism spectrum. Right now we are entering the holiday season with Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas and New Year’s right around the corner. Families will be traveling, having family get-togethers and exchanging gifts. Holidays are a busy and hectic time for everyone and they are especially stressful for anyone with a child who has autism. We want holidays to be a time to create lasting memories of fun times…not stressful events filled with tears and meltdowns. But for families with children on the autism spectrum these next few months can be bewildering and exhausting. We all feel stress during the holidays. Besides our regular jobs, now we have to shop for food, plan for travel, and buy gifts. We never know the right gift and we worry about what to buy. We run around looking for the perfect purchase. Think about it…we are adults who do not have autism and WE get stressed! Think of our poor children who have autism or Asperger’s syndrome. As parents of children with autism we can alleviate many of the stresses and problems caused by the lack of routine and commotion of the holidays if we prepare in advance and do some planning. Below are some holiday tips which I hope will create a more enjoyable holiday experience. Happy Holidays!
Start preparing your child with autism early. Show them images of the destination you will be traveling to…the hotel, or a picture of Aunt Mary’s house or whatever. Allow your child to understand where you will be going, when you will be leaving and what you will be doing once you arrive. Create a calendar of events…a sort of travel itinerary. Even if you are not traveling, this is still a good idea because routines will change. List what your child will be doing each day during the holiday, who they will be seeing, what time you will be leaving and arriving and how long you will stay. Be as detailed and specific as possible. The goal here is to allow your child to understand what will happen and to get used to the idea before the day arrives.
Building up the excitement of the trip before you leave will help your child. Work with your child so that they are looking forward to the trip. Post a countdown timer on the refrigerator…it can be as simple as a yellow sticky pad with numbers counting down the days until you leave. Each day your child peels off one of the days (10 day until Thanksgiving, 9 day until Thanksgiving, etc.). Plan to have a special treat ready for your child…something they like. Perhaps a new toy, a favorite food or some activity. Once they arrive, they will receive the special treat. This can help motivate your child and create a positive attitude toward the trip.
Planes can be especially troubling for a child with autism. The seats are not very comfortable, they are VERY noisy and there is a lot of hustle and bustle getting on and off the plane. If possible, go to the airport in advance and walk around. This is especially important if your child has never been on an airplane or if he or she has not been on one lately.
Some airports will allow you to actually go through the security line in advance of your travel date. This way your child will understand what will happen. They may have to be patted down and have their bags searched…something that can cause a meltdown if the child is not prepared.
On the day of the flight, tell the flight attendant that you need to board first. Explain that your child has autism and need extra time. The airlines understand this need and are typically very accommodating. Bring snacks, books, headphones (the nose cancelling type are great) and soothing music for your child to listen to. Be prepared to keep your child entertained on the flight. Depending on the age of your child entertainment may vary from coloring books to Gameboy players.
You may also want to select seats either near the front or near the back of the plane to be closer to the restrooms.
How long will you have to drive to get where you are going? Will traffic be heavy and make the journey longer than usual? Long drives can be very difficult for children with autism. They can get impatient and have a tough time sitting still.
Especially on trips that last longer than 2 hours planning is critical. If you know that you will be traveling a long distance, try to leave early. The more refreshed and alert your child is, the easier it will be for them to be patient and happy. Another option is to leave late at night where your child can sleep in the back seat.
The goal here is to make the traveling as comfortable as possible for your child. A favorite blanket, pillow or toy is important. Also, consider breaking your trip into pieces if you will have to travel long distances. Drive for two hours then plan on a rest stop…perhaps lunch or a visit to a park where your child can run around and burn off some energy.
The noise from traffic can be brutal for a child who is sensitive to loud noises. Again, noise cancelling headphones are great. I have a pair from Sony that are fairly inexpensive (I just checked on Amazon.com and there are pairs for around $30). And bring your child’s favorite music or a movie. If you have a DVD player (many notebook computers will play movie/DVDs) bring it. A familiar movie can be one of the best ways for your child to pass the time during a long car ride.
This can be one of the most challenging parts of a long vacation. Children with autism often have a very tough time changing where they sleep. The bed is different, the room is not the same, the pillow is too high or too low…everything is DIFFERENT! And different is bad.
To help your child with autism get used to a changing sleep environment, start before you leave. Make it a fun event. Pretend you will be staying in a “hotel room” where the room is another room in your own house. Perhaps it is a brother’s or sister’s room. Maybe they sleep on a cot in your room. Perhaps it is an air mattress on the living room floor. The goal is to get your child used to sleeping in a different bed in an unfamiliar room. If they can handle this, this will help them cope when you actually travel.
For additional tips to make every day a more enjoyable experience for both your child and your family, read my book, The Autism Survival Guide. It is full of tips and practical suggestions from moms who have succeeded in raising a happy and successful child with autism.
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